Normalise Losing Your Mind: It's 2021

I wonder if there are real beings out there reading my work and thinking about all those things that I thought about. I often end my sentences with prepositions. It is not grammatically correct, but it is slang. 

I wonder about a lot of things. When I have a deadline due in two hours, I wonder the most. Sometimes, I even get lost. I ask myself if I know the way back and I do. I trace a path and mind you, it's a long one. Sometimes, I think of bees and stop when my thoughts turn vile and dark and horrid. I return to the start point and commence my journey again, this time in awe of my wanderlust powers. I like getting lost. It feels good to be nowhere and know no one. Where do you think you're going? well, for starters, I'm not thinking. In fact, thinking involves a process, a trail of thoughts leading to the endpoint, preferably a solution or an epiphany. But when you're wondering, you're walking silently down an aisle of doors that hold different thoughts and dreams for another time. Sometimes, I make a mental note; double-click, yellow post-it––NO––let's try pink, type-type-type and voila! There it is! 

Now the next time you see me sitting with a noodle-y spine and staring into a wall, you'll know I'm wandering into that room called 'Mental Note 100: Do you think you should appear to conform to social norms by losing weight and giving up your chubby cheeks?'. Does anything I say may sense to you? Yes, you. Do I sound in pain? I am not in pain. I am simply waiting for the day these doors lock themselves and forfeit the right to build an entrance in my mind. I just want to submit my essay, goddamnit. 

I usually adopt a 'call for help' conclusion where the audience is guaranteed their share of tears but today, for those real, unhappy, dissatisfied and uninterested beings, I leave you with a numb, merely consoling and indifferent farewell. 

It'll be okay.