Did YOU Go From This To This?

Some time ago, Instagram (most likely plagiarised from TikTok) brought onto itself a new trend – How Did I Go From This To This Challenge. It spread like wildfire this trend and the Gen Z way to say it is a glow up. Influencers, vloggers and content creators who make Reels and TikToks skillfully depicted a difference between their prepubescent chub and their sunkissed selves now. It determines the positive role puberty has played on their jawline, face, height, waist, stomach and every party of your body that hasn't been objectified before. When I saw these thirty-second videos, I wanted to (so badly) be one of them and be proud of how I looked right now. But I knew I couldn't because I thought I hadn't glowed up yet. You see, the figure, the hair, the clothes, they all contributed to a glow up. And when you'd see those videos and you'd see the men and women now, you'd want to be it, too. Sometimes, I thought to myself, how did you go from this to this? Do you have a routine? I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. 

I have to admit, they're all breathtakingly beautiful and I'm happy for them. Maybe their glow up is more of an emotional journey. Maybe growing up, they were as insecure as me and now, at this point in time, they're finally content with themselves. This is huge and this is really, really awesome. But that's the thing, right? This trend never really focused on emotional or mental glow up. We were so focused on broadcasting our physical growth, we let this wave wash over the importance of getting there, here, somewhere. Don't get me wrong, physical glow ups are as valid as any glow up. My point is, we don't think mental and emotional glow ups are as valid as physical appearances and beauty. Somewhere between our hashtagging capabilities and social acceptance and validation, we forgot the standards we set for ourselves and the influencers subconsciously set out for the millions who follow them. It really isn't important whether puberty has done its work yet, or if it's ever going to do it. We've cinematised physical growth and pressurised ourselves to look prettier and thinner. If I didn't know better, I would say this is a representation of patriarchal notions that affect men, women and children who are just learning to know what body aesthetics are and how beauty is defined. 

On the other hand, I don't blame us. I don't blame us for appreciating beauty because, for centuries, this conception of beauty has been made synonymous with sophistication, attraction, status and likability. I won't lie to you, there have been many times I've wished I was thinner, prettier and lacked chub. I wish I could fit into all those beautiful dresses that models wear and feel as comfortable with my body. We all have insecurities and I don't believe in embracing bullshit. I believe in growth and with it, comes maturity and the ability to think farther, beyond the fences of your prerogative and outside the box. Maybe someday, which is definitely not today, it's not tomorrow or the day after, but someday, I'll learn to heal and love my body. It took a lot of self hand-holding and tough love to get me to understand that we don't acknowledge – let alone appreciate – mental and emotional glow ups. And that is why I am not in complete awe of this trend and I don't think you should be too. 

It's a tough, losing battle between what's good for your body and what people perceive is good for your body. We've all fallen or are falling prey to the latter. I'm not a saviour and this isn't a TED talk. I don't intend to decide for you but I do think that you should be aware of what social media can do to you. It's a whole scam and a story for another day. If I'm honest, I don't think I've glowed up at all. I've changed my glasses, my boobs have grown, my hair is longer and my nails continue to break when I hold heavy things. So it's all the same. This is how I perceive myself and it isn't all bad. It isn't self-deprecative either. I'm here before you to tell you that the change you can see isn't always the change that is. In the trends that you see, people usually compare themselves to who they used to be five years ago. 

I am a feminist today and I wasn't five years ago. In fact, I didn't know what feminism was, or how to carry a political discourse. I never participated or tried to know more about social and economic inequality, racism, sexism, transitional journeys, gender identity, sexual orientations, or patriarchy. I remained clueless and apolitical. And now, I'm an unapologetic feminist and I fight for what's right. I'm way better at analysis and research papers than I was five years ago. Doesn't that count as something? I like that I have opinions and I'm not afraid of voicing them. I like that I have the power to influence people in the right way and I love that I can sit here and tell you about all this because I'd rather tell you about body acceptance and positivity, and raise mental health awareness than continue inundating your For You Page with Reels that customise bodies and beauty. Allow me to reiterate: I have nothing against the women and men who have conformed to this trend and continued making more videos on it. I see you and I support you. Your journey is different but it's yours. Your choices are different but they're yours. I do want you to think about the impact your decisions leave on the younger ones because we don't believe in Whatsapp forwards but we sure as hell do believe in beauty standards and that's not right. 

I want to see this trend be inclusive of bodies and genders, colour and caste, culture and ethnicities, and you.